Capital Dysfunction
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: A Karofsky twins drabble. Non-twincest, only brotherly bonding. Involves some one-sided Kurtofsky. .:. Michael helps David cope with being gay, like any good - but straight - brother would.


**A/N: Puckerman, Anderson (Blaine's twin being Everett), and Hummel (Kurt's being Cameron) twins (very well photoshopped pics that looked like real twins were involved) were going around on Tumblr, but when I saw the Karofsky ones, I flipped out. I needed to write it. So here it is, a silly little AU-ish thing in which Dave has a twin brother (who is straight and helps Dave cope with being gay). C:**

* * *

They never had a very "average" brotherly relationship. Or perhaps they did, if "average" meant "hardcore sibling rivalry."

David and Michael Karofsky are identical twins. Okay, so that's normal enough. And their mother had to have a C-section to get them both out, so they essentially have the same time of birth. Okay, so that's pretty normal, too. But the amount of disagreement, bickering, and wrestling that they've done since they could talk and somewhat control use of their muscles? Hmm. Maybe not quite as normal.

They don't know why they hate each other so much. It's not like there was ever a reason, ever an instance that turned one on the other. It's just… natural. It comes to them as naturally as breathing or eating to constantly disagree and find excuses to disagree if they technically do agree.

And it usually ends in pain, because they know each other inside and out. They know how to press all the right buttons, how to wound each other in all the correct ways to make the bruises ache for days and the emotional scarring from their words haunt for months.

But why do they do this to each other? There never seems to be an real issues. It's more like, "I can, so I will."

And that's dangerous.

Yet, through all of the rough times, the triggered moments, the pain… they understand each other.

When Dave was going through the hardest time of his life during his junior year, Mikey was right there; he got it. He knew. He figured it out before anyone else, even Dave's best friend, Azimio.

"Come on, Dave. Don't even try to hide shit from me; you're gay, aren't you? You liked that Hummel kid, and now he's gone and you've had a taste of being in Glee Club and so you don't know what to do with yourself."

"Fuck off, Mikey! You don't know shit," Dave growled in response.

But Michael sighed and laid a hand on his twin's shoulder. "Look, Dave. I know i can be a real douche - worse than you, most times, since you always were Mom's little teddy bear - but even I know when to let up. I can't always kick a guy when he's down, brother or not," he remarked as softly as he could without losing his edge.

Dave sighed heavily, but didn't protest the comfort on his shoulder. Instead, he lowered his voice and muttered, "How did you figure me out?"

"It wasn't that hard, bro; you're about as obvious when it comes to Hummel as I am when it comes to Fabray; your eyes linger. And I know you only pick on him 'cause you want him, just like how I tease and mess with Quinn all the time. It makes sense."

"I wish it didn't," David returned sourly. "I don't wanna be gay, Mikey. What would Mom and Dad say? They'd kick my ass three times as hard as you ever have."

Michael shrugs. "Uh, maybe not. Who knows? But if you want me to keep it a secret, I guess I can."

"You have to, or I'll tell Dad how you stole from his liquor cabinet last weekend," Dave smirked, and that shut Mikey right up.

Mikey even laughed a little. "Yeah, okay, Dave. You got me there. I won't tell if you won't. But, bro? At least _try _to hide it next time; I wanted more of a challenge when it came to cracking you open like an egg like the big girl that you are."

"I'll show you a cracked egg when I crack open your HEAD with my FIST!" David shallowly threatened in reply, but all it got him was another laugh from his twin and soon the two were trying to see who could get whom into a headlock.

Of course, Dave proved his gender and won.


End file.
